Space for Healing the Mother Wound

It’s no surprise that we are currently experiencing mass scale movements of feminine empowerment simultaneously across the world. After living in a patriarchal society for eons, the divine feminine has been long neglected from the core of our collective consciousness. In 2019, we are only just starting to realise the consequences of our ancestors’ inactions. Remaining silent has created a stagnation of emotional development, seen through the prevalence of mental health issues in the Western world, the commonplace of domestic violence and violence against women, hordes of migration and asylum seeking (and the challenge of integrating cross-cultural beliefs,) as well as the inability to achieve truth or justice, due to a hierarchy of power manipulation in multiple institutions.

The severing of feminine qualities from the roots of our existence, has given rise to a destructive power dynamic in the world. To overcome struggle, it has become easier and more acceptable to cause harm than it is to create tolerance, have compassion for, and be the guiding light of wholesome ethics towards your worst enemy as a default response. Growing up in a world of terror, I am forced to believe that the world is a scary place. In my daily life, I am vulnerable to daily attack in any form, from something seemingly insignificant like an angry driver or a stressed co-worker, to any other misunderstood individual that aims to violate personal liberation by any deliberate means. The concept of speaking out as my true self leaves me susceptible to retaliation, leaving me to question the purpose of risking my life for enacting change.

Our personal experience of the divine feminine begins in the womb. Growing and developing our very existence in a safe space, we are protected and nurtured, being cared for with love and patience until we are released into the full experience of the world. As we become accustomed to life, completely dependent on relationships to teach survival skills, the ‘safe space’ for learning is slowly taken away until we are deemed independent and completely responsible for our lives.

The family unit was once our primary means of experimentation, but in recent years the increase in working hours has eroded the foundations of its function. It has taken years to objectively understand my family’s dysfunctional dynamics, and comprehend the enduring legacy of intentional suffering due to the mother wound. Sadly, with the recent passing of my grandmother in late 2018, acts of betrayal, self-sabotage, and emotional neglect has risen to the surface through a series of events, aiming to cause maximum impact through prolonged retaliation. The experience of witnessing a complete family breakdown over the last 10 years has impaired my understanding of real love and support. At some point in my development, I adopted the belief that unforgivable acts of human injury are normal, must always be painful, and are a familiar but toxic way of interacting with others.

The mother wound prevails due to our unconscious internalisation of a feeling that somehow, if we upset the status quo, we risk our ability to be loved. It is easier to remain loyal to the wound, sensing our obligation to fix and repair the guilt and shame of those closest to us. The effort of uncovering and processing someone else’s pain seems like a righteous act worthy of reward, however it does not create personal empowerment. Instead, it keeps us small and busy, mindlessly limiting the natural joy we could feel if we lived life as our full selves.

In a world where being full of yourself is perceived as narcissistic, we must understand the importance of honouring our authentic selves. Oppression is a choice, and opportunities for personal growth have never been more widely acceptable now than at any other time in history. While I await the day for kindness to become commonplace, in the meantime, there’s only one corner of the universe you’re certain of improving, and that’s yourself. Stay focused, and get busy.